Perfectionist.

Perfectionists rarely get anything done. If they do, it must be flawless.

Of course, it is true. They hardly achieve their set goals, this is not a result of them not being smart enough or wise. It is because they are people who have a personality that strives for flawlessness. Simply put, They seek to get the best results in anything they do. Remember, If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing well. "Well" in a perfectionist context is perfect.

Perfectionism could be healthy and unhealthy at the same time.

Just last week, I sat in my room thinking of all the things I needed to get done. I listed out a few things to do; write a cover letter, send emails to companies about the job vacancies I saw online, write a statement of purpose for a friend, and read the book recommended by my book club for the month. I had all of these to do but I procrastinated.

The day I was to get these tasks done, I started feeling a sense of fear and anxiety. Fear that I wouldn't write the best cover letter, send the perfect email, write the worst statement of purpose, fear of not getting the job after I have sent the mail and, fear of rejection, Well, I ended up not writing for that day again. Alas! I procrastinated. It took me another week to get them done. At the time, the deadline for the job offer was up.

As a perfectionist, sometimes, I hear voices in my head that tell me "I am not good enough and that I can't get anything done suitably". It made me think less of myself and fear that I can't get it right if I don't work harder.

I remember when I was assigned team leader of the customer service representative department for the organization I worked with back in 2020. I was known as a workaholic. Most of the time, I worked extra hours just to get tasks done perfectly. Whenever I give tasks to my subordinates, I find myself extremely perturbed because I desire that the job is done perfectly.

As a perfectionist, failure is a very scary prospect. The reason is that we place so much hope in the result and we will become very disappointed by anything below a high standard.

In my case of perfection, I try to balance it because people say I have got OCD(Obsessive-compulsive disorder). "How on earth did I go from being a perfectionist to one with OCD"? The answer is, that there will always be a trait of OCD in most perfectionists. Both can coexist. I happen to have it.

Although healthy perfectionism can lead you to achieve your best, unhealthy perfectionism can lead to anxiety, defensiveness, fear of criticism, low self-esteem, depression and being highly critical.

To overcome unhealthy perfectionism, here are the few things I am doing to help myself. This may help you as well to maintain a healthy perfectionist life.

I try to shut off negative voices by telling myself that I can do it and if it's not well done, I can do it again. It will not be so bad if it's not perfect.

I try every day to accept rejection. I have gotten over 10 rejection emails, I must say, it is a very difficult pill to swallow but I did swallow it anyways. Because beating myself will not make the rejection emails change to acceptance.

Focusing on my strength; I found this help earlier. Those days, I used to tell my friends that I can't do other things because I do not have an interest in them but I will do the ones I had an interest in. This is one of the ways to help your unhealthy perfectionism; focus on your strength. That way, you will be perfect in what you do and will have less anxiety disorder.

Everyone has the trait of a perfectionist. Check out these traits to see if you are a perfectionist.

Having the feeling of dissatisfaction; not satisfied with your accomplishments

• Fear of failure: This can be very paralyzing.

Mulling over what you could have done better in any given situation.

• Self-criticism: always seeing flaws in yourself if you are not your perfect self.
• Procrastination: most of the time, you put off completing something because you need to make changes and improvements.
• Workaholism: Always accepting to do all the work, refusing to acknowledge that you need rest and breaks.
• Having an unhealthy sense of responsibility for other people’s errors or outcomes that aren’t directly in your control.
• Defensiveness: you will sometimes find it difficult to accept constructive criticism given to you, always having reasons why something was not done well.

We can't be perfect nor can we live a perfect life. Imperfection is what makes us complete humans.

Photo credit: Mindmattersmagazine